Sister Crow keeps appearing, caw-ing to me from the great Pine in the lot next door, flying overhead, so close I can almost feel her, then as the great metal Crow statue on my birthday trip to the desert. I love Nature and endeavor to watch for nonverbal communications from Her. So when animals talk, I listen. After over a week of Crow getting my attention, I look up her spirit medicine:
Crow medicine is impartiality 2.0, the ability to witness life, people, actions with the awareness that everything arises from, will return to, and rests in a foundation of Love. Everything, every situation will eventually return to harmony. Keeping that in mind is a great medicine, especially in these times.
So of course I want to write about her. I want to gather her medicine and stand as a place of peace, of sacred neutrality (not apathy!), with a quality of listening and being that can provide sanctuary for any and all. This is the ideal, to spend time sharing medicine, hope, inspiration, and wisdom from the more-than-human world. But I have what many would consider a less “spiritual” deadline.
Arvest Mortgage is requiring a completed options package by tomorrow, the absence of which could lead to foreclosure on my home, the sweet, modest mobile in peaceful Topanga where my children grew up. “Sure, follow your bliss,” I muse, “but not off a cliff.”
I am fortunate. I can and will find a way to do both, though not necessarily today. As we folks in California know all too well, fires need to be put out as soon as possible, and the current “fire” in this home is the mortgage paperwork, so that is today's priority, as well as a "fire" or two for my family.
This situation is somewhat minor, a clear and simple choice that will resolve. I use it as an example, and would love to hear from you:
How is it for you when want to do one thing, something that brings you joy, ease, or peace, yet you’re clear that you “must” do another? How many times, perhaps even each day, do you find yourself engaged in a task that you do not like, but that you believe you “have” to do? Do you ever feel discouraged or even angry with everything that is “on your plate”?
I imagine we all make "want to v. have to" choices, some daily and some life changing. Some of them can feel painful or lead to resentments, even depression and despair. And, I've heard it said that happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. What if happiness is also "wanting to do what you have to do"?
Would you like to share an example of a simple (or not so simple) "want to v. have to" choice that you have made or need to make? If so, please post it in the Comments below, or reach out to me directly. Either way, I will share a simple (though not always easy!) practice you can use to take out the sting of “have to’s” and turn them into "want to's".
So much love,
Sage
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