unwrapping the present

writing from The Call april 5, 2020

of course shiloh gets up now. during The Call. during the writing.

layers upon layers of shoulds and I wants...

always a pull 

from aaron, 

from shiloh, 

from “the multitude of voices” 

in me. 

layers upon layers 

of shoulds and i wants and do’s 

and don'ts.

invisible chains, 

or if, 

and I Am, 

a gift, perhaps 

these voices, 

external internalized 

are but layers of tissue

i unwrap

aaron

place him to the side

with care

and then shiloh,

folding him gently

the news? oh, that

i crumple

and toss in

the can

though it burns

and makes smoke

in my room

parents? i 

gently slip my hands

fingers under that wrap,

love them,

place their love,

the love

that got me

here, on an altar,

to honor and care for

and serve, but not

obey. no more

obeying. I Am

Present.